10:32 p.m. - 2003-10-29
Muddied

I struggle to write this, because I'm muddied with emotions.

My most favorite person in the world is no longer my most favorite person.

I feel sick. I'm agahast I can even feel this way, much less give life to my emotions by writing them.

All I can tell myself is that as humans were are most always in a state of flux. We change constantly (some of us), hopefully it's for the better.

Everyone can't make lemonade from the lemons life throws at them.

I keep saying "This too shall pass". It isn't helping. I don't believe it.

I am trying to stay quiet, trying to remain objective and hold my commentary. I have always believed if not part of the solution then part of the problem. I don't want to be part and parcel of the problem itself.

Afterall who am I?...to say anything any way?!

This is HARD!, It's dishearting, heart rending, and it stinks.

I would cry except I haven't any tears.

What is the world is going on?!


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