This morning I awoke with the realization that it took my dad 1 year to make peace with his issues and apologize to me.
I think the hurricanes and tsunami jarred him emotionally and psychologically. Mentally he is on auto pilot.
At his firm he has been designated as "an essential person". I gave him that title years ago...ironic. At any rate, his job kept him from being able to travel to the U.K. for my brother's wedding yesterday. He cried. I think the tears were cathartic for him on many levels. Prior to his tears came the apology and accompanying explanation. I knew what his deal was, but refrained from speaking on it. This year has been a long one, through it we grew apart from one another.
Oh sure, we communicated everyday via email but it simply wasn't the same.
He sees where he made his error. He asked for forgiveness and I was more than ready to give it.
I am going to say this knowing that I believe in my heart, like the Sade song "It's never as good as the first time."
I want my relationship with my father to be the way it was. It will be with time. We are too much of the same person, I miss that feeling - being thick as thieves.
All I know is that I'm thankful that he has humbled himself through the hurricanes and tsunami and the devastation that remains as his island home, to bring him to this point of discovery and reflection. Not so much for the sake of the apology itself but more importantly because he needed to do it so he could progress in his own life's journey.
* * *
Enough of the deep and reflective talk, it is an awesomely beautiful day out and I've got to catch some rays, and help a friend with a business proposal.
Sadly this may be the very last day of our Indian Summer...I'm not ready yet to begin bracing for winter's fury...