I had a full day today.
Was dreading my BUS107 class, in the end I managed to eek out a 93 on the mid term.
Pity I used memorization for the exam, most of the terminology has drained straight out of my memory.
Mw and I went to Annapolis mall. I needed to purchase some Proactiv. My visage is a veritable battlefield.
I am hoping/wishing/praying that my face clears up, in time for my younger sister J's upcoming wedding.
She changed the date 3 times, and the location once.
I finally had a telephone conversation with my dad to confirm that I will be in attendance.
I was on the fence about what to do, but after discussing it with Mw, I need to go home, and I need to spend quality time with my tribe.
They have faced and survived 3 hurricanes and numerous tsunamis without me.
I need to be a big girl, show my face and give support.
I know it is okay to be afraid to see the carnage Mother Nature left behind.
It is even okay to shed tears at the near possible loss of my loved ones.
My family on my dad's side is so small to begin with, the mere thought of losing even 1 of them rocks me to my core.
I am sitting here trying to figure out how I am going to make a dollar out of 15 cents.
I am applying for HMO health coverage for myself, to my utter amazement the premium for 34 year olds is $189 per month!
Yeah you read that right...$189!
I may be getting a part time job sooner than I'd expected, at this rate.
I realize that I can't remain without health insurance, dental coverage et al., so I'm doing what I have to, in an effort to take care of myself.
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Enough with the serious talk.
Mw purchased 2 of the most lovely french cuff shirts for me, one salmon pink the other periwinkle, both made by Liz Clairborne.
Mw also purchased an off white pants suit for me to wear to the wedding. I know it's odd but I'll be my sister J's personal valet, and I thought that a skirt or dress would just be too cumbersome.
I want to look smart and chic and at the same time I don't want anyone looking at me, it's J's day and she's the Princess.
I'm hoping that my dad doesn't go to pieces during the wedding.
He's in his late 50s and having this coming of age thing where he's overly emotional about us kids. I'm the last hold out aside from my niece who is now 6 and way too young to get married.
Dad says he's not ready to let any of us go, yet he's completely supportive.
I believe that's the parental paradox.
You want your progeny to go out into the world and make their mark, yet you want to hold them close and shelter them from all the hurt and cruelty out in the very same world.
It's deep.
Personally I think dad is suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder due to the storms and the resultant tsunamis. I'll know for sure when I look into his eyes.
* * *
Enough writing, I've got things to say yet I don't want to use up all the consonants and vowels in one entry.
Weird right?...I could claim I'm an artiste' and this is what an artiste' refers to as "artistic license", however I'll spare you all, I won't take you "there".
* * *
Tonight I just want to be held while I sleep. I need to feel safe, loved and comforted.