Just like the Beach Boy's song, I'm done. I truly am.
Brain fried�out of energy�and falling on my face. Ahhh the picture of grace *not*!
I drank a Coke for energy then struggled to keep my eye lids up, barely made it home, only to fall into bed.
I slept from 1700 hrs. until 2200hrs. I awoke to a HOTTT but darkened house, lightening, thunder and rain. I was disoriented and upset. The sheer oppressiveness of the heat awoke me.
To add to my upset-ness Mw was no where to be found � carefully I navigated and negotiated the staircase, checking each room upstairs for her. In the background, alarm sensor #3 was "talking" it had been for quite some time. Apparently I was so *zonked* I slept thru its intermittent audio reminder.
A few minutes later Mw arrived, sensor battery in hand. She announces that she is p-i-s-s-s-e-d!!! Mw is known for her cool and even disposition. She "lost" it today because the sensor, now the a/c was on the fritz, and she had a hectic day at the ofc. It all got the best of her.
I settled down, then informed her, that I was glad to see her. I sat and tried to collect myself, cool off and think about something to eat.
Mental note: it's tre' difficult to eat when one feels like an ambulatory inferno.
Mw asked me what was up with school. I told her about my struggle to drive home, and that I had to make a decision. Truth of the matter is that I either came home, or fell out in school. I chose to come home and fall out in my own bed, in private, thank you very much.
I also informed Mw that I was cutting class on Saturday morning.
My job, the culture, the climate, the mindset, and the truth that I am not a good fit. I am brain fried on a daily. After 4 weeks of fighting my way thru I am vanquished. I keep trying to motivate myself each day and each afternoon I am hurt, silent and thoughtful as I drive home in bumper to bumper traffic.
I have never been mentally repressed. Financially � Oh yes, mentally?�Never. I also have grown to realize that the thread for which I can endure this, is painfully thin.
So, with all that in mind �I am on the move.�
�Souljourn with a plan, is NOT to be toyed with.�