Last night I had boxes of personal stuff to put into storage.
I'd loaded my car ahead of time and planned to complete this errand after work.
I didn't give it a second thought.
I left my office the sky was purple and it was cold outside. Freezing cold. No matter, I just wanted this schtuff out of the backseat of my car.
I arrived at the storage facility, there was 1 car in the lot, I parked and observed there was a guy in there with schtuff packed all around the car. I mean every single square inch was filled with schtuff. Upon closer, stealth type inspection (as I didn't want him to know I was looking at all his crap), I realized it was food! He had made a personal air bag of GROCERIES! Oh Lordy.
I beat feet quickly and entered my access code. I secured a trolley and proceeded to unload my schtuff. Neatly sealed boxes all with their own lids, labeled etc. Organized, neat type schtuff.
Okay I see this guy, Mr. Grocery Airbag looking at me. I get the creeps. Why on Earth can't I stay focused? I'm terrified but I've committed because all my crap is on the trolley and 1/2 way into the storage facility at this point.
Okay I begin thinking while I wait for the elevator. I will push button for floor 3 and 5 just in case this guy is crazy and has some deranged idea.
I'm scaring myself.
The elevator stops on 3 then on 5. I book as fast as I can to my unit #5422. The one thing I dislike is that all of the lights are off until motion is detected. Scares the crap out of me every single time. You'd think after being a tenant for so many years (3 to be precise) I'd be used to this.
Nope.
I loaded my schtuff into the unit, locked up (at least I think I did), then headed back to the elevator. I begin hearing "sounds". Great.
Just what I need.
My nerves making up things to scare me.
Nice.
Very nice.
The elevator opens and who steps out?...
I'll give you one guess...
Yep, Mr. Grocery Airbag.
I nearly died. I had the trolley in such a way he could not exit the elevator, nor could I enter the elevator.
The look he gave me, made me shiver. I fought to stay composed.
I decided to back up so he could exit.
He said "night". I said 'night' and hustled tale onto that elevator and slammed the 'close door' button as many times as I could.
The doors didn't close fast enough for me.
The 'vator goes to the 3rd floor.
I jump, as the door opens and man is standing there.
He has a lead pipe in his hand approximately 4 feet long. I try to back up but I can't move. No matter as I'm already as close up against the far left hand side of the interior of the 'vator as it is.
I'm a nervous wreck.
This guy mutters something and looks my way, looks me up then down, up then down.
I am feeling sick I need off this 'vator like NOW.
I am telling myself this was not such a wise idea.
I am telling myself to stay calm.
I am scared, I'm beyond scared. Part of me wants to weep but I can't.
He motions for me to exit, I say "please, after you."
He obliges and exits.
I return the trolley and hasten to my car. I've never been more happy to see my car. It represents at this moment "sanctuary".
I get into the car and lock the doors. Thank God for power locks.
I saw a fast prayer then start the car.
Mr. Grocery Airbag returns with more schtuff. What the hell am I looking at? Turn the �F� around you moron. Why am I looking into this man�s car?
Because I allowed myself to be terrified. I wanted to get one more look to make sure I was not just making this all up. Nope, he looked scary as ever.
I proceeded to the keypad kiosk, quickly entering my code, my eyes darting.
During the drive home, I prayed and gave thanks to God for keeping me safe.
As stupid as this may sound I apologized to myself for not thinking the situation through more clearly.
The truth is, I recently faced my fear of the dark. As of last night, I realize I am only able to sleep in the dark with or without a nightlight.
I never gave a second thought to what I had planned to do at my storage unit. Usually no one else is there and I load and unload my belongings without incident.
All I can tell you is that in my foolishness and lack of advance planning, not listening to my instincts and inner voice, I felt the same terror as I lived to experience the night I was assaulted that night in Undergrad school, in back of the very Honors dormitory I lived in.
How could I be so stupid, wreckless and unthinking? Furthermore why did I not listen to my inner voice when I got that telltale fight or flight feeling?
Here is my answer.
Plain and simple.
I don�t know.
All I thought about was getting the boxes out of my car and into the storage facility.
That�s it period.
I scared myself, I traumatized myself and yes on the way home I did shed tears.
I won�t ever try to do that again in the dark.
And what�s more, I will take a friend along the next time.
I've got to think, listen to and trust my inner voice, and take far better care of myself. Otherwise I won't live to tell about another "next time".