While driving to work this morning, I kept feeling something sharp, just under my right boob. I tried to keep driving in between episodes of wincing and twisting my upper torso.
I knew for certain it couldn�t be a porcupine. But what could it be?!
Picture me driving northbound on a two lane intra-state, (The B.W. Parkway for those of you geographically more familiar), I�m listening to Russ Parr�s Morning Show. DJ Sixx Sense is spinning �The Wrong Songs". I�m getting my Friday Mojo on - grooving, singing, playing instruments and in general having a party, on my way to work. Suddenly I feel a sharp jab! and another! and another! I try twisting while securely fastened under my seatbelt *twist* *twist* *twist* � all to no avail. I simply can�t seem to locate, or stop whatever it is, that's jabbing my right boob.
Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! This mess hurts!!! I�m becoming unhinged.
Whatever this is, that�s jabbing me, is jabbing my right boob nerve.
My Friday Mojo session has stopped. I decide to unbutton my shirt, in an effort to find out what the source of the problem is.
There is no time for me to pull over to investigate.
Traffic is moderate and flowing, I take my time manipulating each button one at a time. I reach down and feel�guess what?!...the right side cup's underwire snapped in TWO.
Dag nabit!
I am laughing uncontrollably. I think to myself �I�ll fix this when I get to work.�
I�m driving with renewed focus, purpose and intensity. I can�t help but think, I could be one of those drivers in a car commercial �professional driver on closed course, do not attempt this at home.�
All the while I�m thinking, ��must�get�to�work�must�fix�bra��
Spoken like a true super heroine�(NOT)
Driving with my right hand and my right knee I buttoned my shirt, reached behind my back w/ my left hand, unhooking my bra.
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh relief!
I exhaled deeply then refocused on the road. I crank the radio up as loud as I can and begin singing and dancing while driving.
Back to the Friday Mojo.
Glancing over my left shoulder I see some guy. He�s apparently been watching me. Great! Just what I need. I turn my head away from him as fast as I can.
Changing lanes and speeding ahead of him � I am a professional driver on a closed course, of course�
I arrived at my building, hustled into my ofc, then made a bee line into the Ladies bathroom.
For my work, I ordinarily use a cutter to open parcels my clients send me for processing. Today, my �cutter� was sterilized w/ Isopropyl alcohol then transformed into a surgical steel, precision tool for Bra Surgery.
I am pleased to report my first Bra Surgery was an unparalleled success.
Wonder what Victoria Secret's will say when I take this bra back to them sans the right cup's underwire?