What I remember is utter panic and upset.
My thoughts were on my baby brother, my older sister, my little neice and my cousin. All of whom lived in "that city."
Admittedly selfish they are all I could think of.
My reality at that time, was that I had been sent away on special assignment, within the call center of my then employer.
We were *ORDERED* yes I do mean to say *ORDERED!* to remain on the phones and continue taking all calls.
I remember glancing upwards at the Maximillian or "Max" display. It was heavily illuminated and the phones were going haywire.
To be honest, the frenetic activity seemed to have all happened in an instant.
Our call center was seculded. As such, we had no access to t.v. or radio.
I remember finding out about what had happened because my cube mate's boyfriend IM'd her saying "a plane just flew into the World Trade Tower, in New York City."
I thought she was joking around, I remember telling her to get a grip.
Little did I know that the same scenario would play itself out once more on the remaining Trade Center tower, in a matter of moments.
The call center supervisor walked around the department raising her voice, issuing incessant and asinine orders to us..."continue to stay on the phones."
I could not help but think to myself "what a clueless moron."
The call center supervisior wasn't officially my supervisor, as I was on loan to her. As such, I felt that I could and should stand up and speak for all of the workers in the call center.
I blurted out to the supervisor, that a plane had flown into the World Trade Center and that the Max display lit up like a Christmas tree directly afterwards. To which, she ran over to the Max (I believe she did this to confirm what I'd just told her). I watched as her face became a billboard which bore expressions of shock and distress.
All at once every single representative lost the call they were handling.
Then the phones just began ringing and ringing and ringing and ringing. It was so eerie and unsettling.
Within moments security guards arrived. They motioned to the supervisor to meet in her office. Just as soon as they'd arrived, they'd departed.
My heart was racing, it's beats were so loud I could neither hear nor discern anything going on around me.
In a one tracked frame of mind, my thoughts swirled like eddys alternating between my baby brother, my sister, my niece and my cousin.
The hard truth was that there was nothing I could do for any of them.
In vain I struggled to recall how close to the Trade Center my sister's accounting firm was located.
I got upset with myself because I couldn't remember. I searched but didn't have her work phone number with me. Against firm policy I dialed her home number and left a message on her answering machine.
Of that day I remember the tightening feelings in my chest, endless tears streaming down my face as I continued to force myself to talk on the phone diligently taking call after call from all sorts of people.
We would later learn that phone trunk lines had blown and we were receiving all sorts of calls - most of which did not pertain to the firm.
I made valiant efforts to remain calm and composed. I was polite and patient with every call I took.
I didn't want to cry but in the end my tears were the only release I would permit myself.
I watched my colleagues become increasingly agitated and frantic. Some had even refused out right to remain on the phones, even at the risk of being terminated.
I remember thinking how ineffective and stupid management was for threatening to fire anyone during a crisis like this.
On this day, I give thanks because my sister, my brother, my niece and my cousin are all safe and sound.
I offer prayers for those whose gave their lives to save others. I offer yet more prayers for the lives lost, dreams shattered and surviving family members and loved ones who must live on beyond this senselessness.
Thoughts which resonate within me are the fact that each of us, is truly our brother's keeper.
We all must care for one another, remaining alert, vigilant and unified.
Above all else we must never forget.
May God Rest All the Souls of those who were tragically lost on this day.