An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets the more interested he is in her. -Agatha Christie
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A psychiatrist is a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free. �Anonymous
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Bachelors know more about women than married men; they didn't, they'd be married too. -H. L. Mencken
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Men have a better time than women; for one thing, they marry later, for another thing, they die earlier. -H. L. Mencken
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"A man without a woman is like a fish without a bicycle." -U2
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Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, suffering
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When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why.
When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why.
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Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.
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When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.
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I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back
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I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?" She said, "Somewhere I have never been!" I replied, "How about the kitchen?"
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We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
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My wife was in beauty saloon for two hours. That was only for the estimate. She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
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She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage? "Following her down the street I yelled, "No, jump in!"
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If your dog is barking at the back door and you are wife is yelling at the front door, which do you, let in first? The dog of course, at least he'll shut up after you let him in!
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A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back toward his car when his attention was diverted to another man kneeling at a grave. The man seemed to be praying with profound intensity and kept repeating, "Why did you have to die? Why did you have to die?" The first man approached him and said, "Sir, I don't wish to interfere with your private grief, but this demonstration of pain is more than I've ever seen before. For whom do you mourn so deeply? A child? A parent?" The mourner took a moment to collect himself, and then replied, "My wife's first husband."