Souljourn�s dad is contemplating
I say �again� because dad has been doing this for almost 5 years, and he�s still on the island. Kind of reminds me of the reality show �Survivor�. I keep wondering how bad the economy has to get before he gives up/gives in and regroups heading for civilization(?) and the U.S. Mainland.
This time around, several factors are prompting dad; the continuing soft-to-the-point-of-squishy- Investment Banking economy � offshore banking, investments and money shelters are the number one source of revenue for the Caymans; if you don�t know by now, believe you me it is. Do you remember the movie The Firm? It was filmed on the same island, only minutes away from dad�s house.
Truth is September 11th changed the island�s economy, as well as the world, in a dramatic way, more than any words can adequately describe.
Coupled with the miserable, downward festering economy, my siblings J* and N*, have reached the age, where they are ready to make their way in the world. J* and her daughter A2*, have their sights set on the windy city - Chicago, while N* is looking to further his study in London; the present location, of the love of his life - MC*. If that weren�t enough, my step-mom C* is moving to either Maryland or Florida. This leaves dad with NO immediate family.
On the one hand, if he took stock of the situation, I suppose he could say that he is really paradise:
Wonderful, modern island,
Gentle warm breezes,
Palm trees,
A feeling of safety, security and remoteness, with all modern creature comforts
Good island music,
Great island food,
Soon no family to bother and harangue him,
Sunshine,
Clear ocean azure colored water he can swim in at any time,
A hammock, and a humble house, and land all of which he owns,
A nearby modern airport for when he�d want to take trips,
BUT my dad is the kind of dad, who needs to participate, �be in the mix�, if you will, with his family. So he�s thinking his decision to remain island bound all over again. Why on Earth should he stay on that island all alone?!
He emailed me yesterday asking me my thoughts. The email didn�t surprise me at all. It�s the 5th time, I think, that he�s done this. So in good faith, I made a list of Pros and Cons and emailed my thoughts back to him. After he�s had ample opportunity to think and pray over it
Here I sit, thinking this may be my last year to party it up during Pirate�s Week, visit my island, stay in our humble family home, rock in dad�s hammock without a care in the world, swim in my ocean with the little fish which come right up to me, the last time I get to feel alive, free and safe going to my island get away home, waking with warm gentle breezes on my face, sleep out in the yard in complete safety, partake in spontaneous though now illegal beach and bonfire parties, the last time I�ll see my dad reliving his good memories of his growing up years in Guyana that only this island can bring out in him.
Just thinking about the small and simple things that this island has given me, in the few short years I�ve been going there to �get away from the world� and get closer with my family, my eyes are welling with tears, boulders are forming in my throat, my heart is pounding, and I�m being filled with a heavy sadness the likes of which can only maybe be akin to the passing of a loved one. I�m being selfish right now, I can�t deny how very special my island is to me, to my dad to my family. I can only imagine how difficult a decision this must be for him.
On the one hand I�m a bit sad, but on the other hand, I�m secretly hoping that my dad chooses to live some where near me. It would be my chance to have him all to myself and in my life on a regular basis. This must sound so selfish, but I didn�t have my dad in my life, I�ve only had him since I was 16 and that was because I took the initiative and all the money I�d saved up � and found him. So despite the short time we�ve spent together, the connection we have is strong and special. He�s my favorite person in the world, and he knows that I need him now more than I ever did.
So, in an effort not to sway his decision making process, one way or the other, I am praying each day that he will make a decision, and that � that decision will allow me more time with him. I feel like it�s finally my turn with him. That isn�t the best way for me to express what I�m feeling, but it�s all I can come up with at the moment.
So God, if you are reading this diary, up in Heaven, please oh please, intervene and allow my daddy decide to leave the island and relocate somewhere within driving distance. Of course- if it�s Your will God.
Amen